That alone took me a lot of time to figure out.
Thank god I never listened to some of the “scientists” you can find online. My brain chemistry wasn’t “off”, I wasn’t born this way, and NO, the answer doesn’t lie in some weird molecule that they are slinging this month.
The answer was inside of me.
And I knew that.
I knew I would feel fine if I were to change my life, achieve a few things, get rid of my chronic back pain, and start my journey fulfilling my needs and desires.
The only problem was: I DIDN’T RELLY KNOW WHAT I WANTED!
I was around 25, looking at life and looking around me.
I needed to figure out what to do with my life: if I wanted a family, a job, do some arts or sports, heck, maybe I wanted to be a nomad or join the circus…
Who knew? Well, it wasn’t me…
It all seemed exciting, but nothing moved me.
Nothing made me say:
» I’m willing to go for this 100%. Success or failure, I don’t care. This is who I am!«
Being a 25-year-old man at the time, I went for the classics: money, status, muscles, and girls.
Seemed like everybody wanted that, so there must be something there, I thought.
That was the moment I wish somebody had told me:
“Kajetan, you are right!
Your anxiety stems from the misalignment of your wants/needs and your reality.
But the answer is not in picking something general that you see others wanting.
IT IS IN FINDING OUT WHAT YOU WANT.
The answer to knowing what you want comes from something other than you thinking about it.
It comes from you FEELING IT.
And those feelings come from within your body.
They are emotions.
You feel them when you do something or think about something.
They make you FEEL like you are at the right spot at the right time doing the right thing.
You know it when you feel it.
And in the absence of this, you shouldn’t give up.
YOU SHOULD WORK HARDER ON SENSING THE FEELINGS COMING FROM YOUR BODY, SO YOU CAN FEEL WHAT, IN YOUR LIFE, FEELS DIFFERENT FROM EVERYTHING ELSE.
WHAT MOVES YOU?
AND THAT – THAT’S YOUR THING.
Why didn’t anybody tell me this?
It seems obvious now…
So… The obvious thing to ask is:
- How is my body connected to this in the first place?
- How do I “Work harder on sensing the feelings coming from my body”?
Let me explain:
You see, feelings and emotions come from your body to your consciousness and not the other way around.
When you get angry, its not your consciousness that tells your body:
“Hey, body! I am angry. Squeeze my fists, make an angry face, and pull my shoulders back.”
Its the other way around:
You figure out you are angry because you are squeezing your fists, making an angry face, and pulling your shoulders back.
Feelings and emotions come from your body.
If you can’t feel something, there must be a disconnect between your consciousness and your body.
It might be anger, sadness, or “just” your wants and needs.
They all come from your body.
And well, How do you work on feeling your body better?
With the AEQ® method.
Doing the AEQ® exercises will help you with your wants and needs in three ways:
- It will help you feel your body better and, in turn, help you better define your wants and needs.
- It trains your ability to focus. Better focus means you can better focus on those wants/needs.
- A better feeling of the body helps you better define your current abilities and your mood. This lets you better assess the reality of the situation and enables you to find the best way to reach those wants or needs.
It doesn’t have to be so dramatic, and you might not be looking for your “destiny”.
Just remember, pain is nothing more than your body screaming for change.
Screaming that you NEED to change something or it will go from pain to injury.